Never Enough
by imaginethat57
Summary: What happens when Regina is brutally honest about how she feels about Emma and Hook's relationship? Swan Queen, anti-CS, anti-OQ, a reimagining of the scene between Emma and Regina in the diner where Regina tells Emma she's too good for Hook. Angst with a happy ending.
"Does Liam seem a little, I don't know, self-righteous to you?" Emma asks, shuffling her feet and looking away, trying to hide her obvious discomfort. Regina sees right through her though. She always does.

"He doesn't like you, does he?" She asks, wonder and what Emma loathes to think is amusement lacing the brunette's tone.

Reluctantly, Emma chokes out, "He doesn't think I'm good enough for Hook." Her gaze is still cast downward, but she looks up sharply when she hears Regina snort. She feels herself bristle, this isn't funny to her. She's confiding in Regina, trying desperately to block out the words screaming in her head about how she's not enough, never enough, and the woman is mocking her?

Before she can retort, however, Regina takes a sip of her tea and somehow manages to convey indifference and sincerity in the same breath when she turns her chocolate gaze on Emma and says "To be honest, you're _too_ good for Hook."

The surprise renders Emma speechless. She feels her hackles raise even more, is Regina toying with her? What kind of sick joke is this? Emma has never been good enough for anyone, her parents, her son, every foster family she was placed with, never. That's why they all sent her away. So maybe her parents say they love her and that they wanted her, and maybe Henry came and found her, but it doesn't mean she's good enough for any of them. _Never enough, never enough, never enough…_

"What?" She spits out. If Regina notices the acid in her tone, she doesn't show it. Instead the woman refuses to meet Emma's burning gaze and sips at her tea once more. She shrugs, and stares into the brew before her.

"You heard what I said, Emma." Regina says calmly. She sucks in a breath and bites the bullet, looking up into the savior's eyes from her seat. "Not only are you more than good enough for that filthy pirate, you're good enough for whoever you deem worthy of your time."

Emma takes a step back as if she's been slapped, and Regina winces, internally cursing herself for opening her mouth.

"Filthy pirate? So tell me, Regina, what the hell are you doing down in this miserable shit hole with me if you think Hook is just a filthy pirate not worth my time?" Emma seethes.

At this Regina stands and slams her hands down on the table. "You know damn well why I'm down here, you idiot!"

Emma's jaw drops, and she flounders for words but none come to her.

"I'm here because of you! How could I-" She chokes up a little, clears her throat, then plows forward. "How could you expect me to let you do this alone? You told me once you always have my back. Do you think that meant nothing to me? So, no, Emma I don't give a damn about that filthy, rum soaked, piece of garbage. But you? How could you think after all this time, after everything, that I don't care about you?" Regina finishes softly, almost pleading, as if she too expects all her love to be met with harsh rejection, and not for the first time Emma wonders, _does she feel it too? Does the world tell her she's never enough, never enough, never enough?_

And the more she thinks about it the angrier she gets, because why is the universe so damn unfair and cruel? The thought of all Regina has suffered, all she has lost, of anyone telling this monolith of a woman before her that she of all people was lacking has her angry and heartbroken and bitter and maybe just a little less lonely.

Emma's musing, deep in thought, and Regina is backtracking everything she just said in her mind, trying to quell the panic over the inevitable backlash that will come from admitting she cares about Emma. This woman is the savior, saviors don't ask for Evil Queens to care about them.

But because this isn't just the savior before her, it's Emma, and Emma is so much. So much more than the savior, than Prince Charming and Snow White's daughter, so much more than a title or a prophecy or a destiny, Regina can't keep the next words from escaping her mouth.

"He isn't good for you, Emma. That spark, that Emma fire, it's dying out. He treats you like dirt on his boots, and you let him. I know you can stand up for yourself, I've seen you do it."

Tears dribble down Emma's cheeks and she swipes at them furiously, backing away from Regina and turning her side to the woman. "Screw you, Regina." She mutters.

"Oh no, you don't get to take this out on me. You're just pissed because I'm calling you on this. But I'm not letting you duck this. Hook isn't good for you, the relationship, it's not healthy. For fuck's sake Emma he threatened to kill himself to manipulate you. That is the very definition of an unstable, unhealthy relationship." Regina swears she's not trying to lecture, god she's not. But she's desperate. She wants Emma back, not the ghost of a woman this relationship has turned her into.

"Hah. You're one to talk, Regina. You want to talk about dying fires? Look in the mirror. What happened to 'I make my own destiny Regina?' You're letting a tattoo and some fairy dust cocaine dictate your life. I mean, fuck, do you even _like_ Robin? Or do you just think you have to? And let's talk about treating people like shit. How about everything that went down with Marian, before we knew it was your twisted sister. He chose her over you, he treated you like a second choice, then he treated you like a dirty secret plaything, then he treated you like his sin, now he treats you like he has any right to you because he deigns to look your way." Emma feels some of that fire and spark starting to build back up in her. And she knows she's pushing at Regina because she doesn't want the woman to push at her, but if Regina isn't going to pull any punches about how she feels about Emma's relationship then Emma damn sure isn't going to extend her the courtesy.

Meanwhile the queen's face is flickering with barely concealed rage, the vein in her forehead beginning to pop. "How dare you?" She starts, venom, bitter and dangerous, dripping from her words.

Emma laughs but there is no humor in it. "How dare you, Regina? You started this."

For a long moment no one speaks. _When did she get so close?_ Emma thinks as she registers Regina's presence mere inches from her own body. They stare at each other, radiating fury and tension and sorrow. Neither of them know how it happens, and later they'll each insist the other initiated it, but next thing they know they're breaching the small space between them and embracing. Emma let's out a choked, wracking sob the second Regina's arms fold around her, and Regina buries her face in blonde hair and hides. Their arms are wrapped tightly around the other, clinging desperately, fiercely.

"Why is it so hard, Regina?" Emma asks, breathing choppily and trying not to get snot in the woman's chocolate locks.

"I don't know, Emma. Damn it I don't know." Regina mumbles into Emma's neck. She noses deeper into Emma's hair and tries to escape everything. But suddenly she feels fingers threading through her own hair and gently, yet insistently tugging at the base of her neck, causing her to pull her head up and back a little until she's met with forest green eyes the soon become the only things her own eyes can see.

She's swimming in green when she hears Emma's voice cut through. "You are too good for Robin. You deserve whatever destiny you choose."

"And what if I _choose_ Robin," Regina whispers, not sure if she wants the answer.

Emma swallows thickly and closes her eyes. "Then I guess I'd just have to try to make my peace with that."

"Am I supposed to make my peace with you and Hook even though I'm worried about you Emma?" Regina glosses over the fact that she can't fathom why Emma's peace would be disturbed by her relationship with Robin. Maybe she can, but- _no._ She won't go down that road.

Emma disentangles herself from the embrace and steps away from Regina, running her hand through her hair. Both women feel the loss of the embrace keenly, but say nothing of it.

"I know Hook isn't good for me, okay? I get it. But, I mean, what else was I supposed to do? He just kept asking and asking and chasing me and it was just easier to give in, you know?" Emma sighs deeply, kicking the ground with her boot and refusing to meet Regina's eyes.

"You have a right to say no to him, Emma. No doesn't mean 'keep trying until you wear me down,' that's, that's sick." When Emma's eyes flash red again Regina quickly adds, "Not you, that's not your fault if he won't listen to you." Regina amends maladroitly.

Emma chuckles dryly, then shoves her fists in her pockets and lets all the air out of her lungs in one big _woosh_. Her shoulders slump and she looks to Regina. "So who would be good for me?"

Regina gulps and clasps her hands in front of her. Her deep voice scratches out, "Only you can answer that, Emma."

Emma nods, chewing pensively on her lip. She doesn't respond for a long moment, but eventually she takes a step closer to Regina. Then another and another, until they're a breath apart again. She looks at Regina through her lashes, gulps once and whispers, "What if I already know the answer?"

"Then do something about it," Regina responds, eyes beseeching Emma to do something, _anything_ , heart daring to hope. Emma leans forward, eyes fluttering shut. But something stops her in her tracks. She opens her eyes again and tilts her head away from Regina.

"What about Robin?" She hates herself for asking, but she has to.

Regina grimaces and takes a deep shuddering breath. She grips her stomach, and wets her lips with her tongue. The decision she's making feels sudden, but at the same time like it's been a long time coming. She makes sure Emma is looking her directly in the eye before she responds, "He's not who I want. I want to follow my own path."

"Okay." Emma whispers. "Okay." She repeats, trying to give herself enough time to process everything that's happening. "So, you don't want Robin."

"Correct," Regina affirms.

"And I never wanted Hook." Emma states, stepping even closer to Regina.

"Right." Regina whispers, hooking her fingers into the waistband of Emma's jeans and tugging her in even tighter. Emma takes a deep breath, steadying herself. She counts to five in her head, then takes the plunge. She quickly grabs the back of Regina's neck and pulls her in for a kiss. Regina sucks in a sharp breath when their lips make contact, but Emma's kiss quickly sucks all the air out of her lungs. Her eyes go wide with shock, though she doesn't understand why. She knew this kiss was coming. God this kiss has been coming since the day Emma Swan showed up on her doorstep with their son and waved a quiet, unsure "Hi," to a whirlwind Regina.

But a second into it Regina snaps her eyes shut and, never one to do anything half ass, throws her heart into the kiss. Regina's head is swimming and Emma's lungs are burning. Emma's fingers are twined in dark hair and Regina's arms are wrapped around Emma's waist. Neither of them knows how long the kiss lasts but they both know they don't want to stop. But eventually the need to breathe wins out and they pull apart. Not far, they only separate an inch, both breathing heavily, puffs of breath mingling together in the minuscule space between them.

Emma smiles widely, then brings her hands to cup Regina's cheeks. "Wow," she breathes out, and Regina chuckles, eyes sparkling.

"Indeed," she returns, voice just as airy and filled with wonder.

"I don't know where we go from here," Emma says, suddenly sounding lost.

Regina lays her hand over one those covering her cheeks and strokes it gently with her thumb before she speaks, "How about home?"


End file.
